My favorite quote from Tich Nhat Hanh is his allegory of the 5 year old child
“A five-year-old child is always vulnerable, fragile and he or she can get hurt very easily, so I have to handle a five-year-old child in a very gentle way. A five-year-old child as a flower get hurt and the wound will stay for a long time. And most of us have been five year old and the inner child in us is still alive. And the little child in us, in you all, may still have wounds within.”
To me he is expressing the idea at the core of empathetic communication, that everyone starts with pure and good intentions, but as life progresses this goodness becomes wounded and suppressed. I think everyone has this goodness still in them, but it is often obscured by that person's hurtful actions or behaviors. By recognizing the hurt 5 year old inside of each person you can begin the process of unconditional forgiveness. When a 5 year old lashes out, you know that the right way to respond is not treating them the same way. You instead should lead by example, try and understand the place of hurting they are coming from and respond in a compassionate way. Try and imagine the next person you see, on the bus, at work, or at home as a 5 year old child. Imagine all the things that have happened to them in their life, All the pain and emotional wounds they have incurred and treat them in a way to help begin that healing. An intentional kind word, a smile, or a hug goes a long way.
-jh
